It's the "love month"-so let's talk about love. (Before the month says bye bye)
So we all know the greatest love of all is Jesus dying for us on that cross. ( Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 ESV)
But because God also made us fleshy a.k.a human, we of course want, need and crave earthly LOVE.
We all hope and anticipate that there is someone akin to us. Someone who shares our beliefs and respects us in the way that is needed. A partner that shows up even if we adamantly stated at one point that we are okay without love.
As Christians, we have been conditioned to meet, marry, and mate in that order. Love might appear, and while falling in love is a priority, the most important thing is that we have a child if we can conceive and we wear a ring so others can see. (At this point, I am not referencing to the fact that marriages should give glory to the Lord, just speaking from a general standpoint.)
Now, give and take, there are exceptional Godly-built relationships that stand the test of time, in the same breath that there are shallow ones that are only broadcasted as such or are presented deceptively.
There has been a pattern in which youngsters are influenced to marry but not counseled, supported, or truly guided, and as such, they fail. Of course, at the head of every good marriage should be Jesus himself, but how does one attain a biblically sound relationship that, although not perfect, fills the gaps where attraction, support, affection, and all the other basics or essentials are concerned?
Notwithstanding, we all know that no man will have it all, and I mean men in general (females included), but for what is lacking, the good starts overshadowing and acceptance takes precedence.
My thought process, however, goes to the question: how does one who has the desire to marry meet a godly partner?
And like many, I begin to ask a multitude of questions.
What about the non-traditional stories that turn into bestsellers?
If love conquers all, why should love be cast in stone and robotic?
Though we could combat and drive home AGAIN that the greatest love of all is Jesus himself, as humans, can we truly remove the aspects of us that hope for a spouse and a family?
If God helps those who help themselves, do we sit idle without action and long for the person to sweep in?
Do we reject everyone who comes across us because they haven't dot all the Is and crossed all the Ts?
Do we date our church brother or sister solely based on the fact that they go to church?
Do we compromise and lose inhibitions towarde the one we are attracted to and who has the qualities we dream of, yet live with the possibility that they don't serve our God or are not fully committed to him?
Do we blindly seek on their behalf and hope for change while denying progression, or do we establish boundaries and still chance a future with them?
We are called to a greater purpose. And yet historically, in the Bible, almost every great man has been oppressed by desires of the flesh, and as a result, their demise or consequence was severe.
Do we willingly emulate and say God understands, or do we try to understand and stick to the perfect, not the permissive will of God?
What happens when someone on the narrow road starts to fall for the ideal partner but nonetheless does not wholeheartedly serve the true and living God?
You who have been faithful, loyal, and waiting—do you flee, fall to your knees, or do you prematurely hope?
If love is kind, patient, and beautiful, are all of these characteristics of love supposed to be found conventionally or simply be real?
Well, from experience, I can and must say that the first step to finding love—the kind the Lord approves of—is by first finding him.
I've realized that no matter how attractive or compatible two people might be, no matter how saved they are, love is not enough. Yes (and I don't mean the love of Jesus). And I know love is kind, patient, and not envious—until it isn't—remember we are all flawed, loving so deeply and dearly at times, but as it's said, there is a thin line between love and hate.
How do we, the unpredictable people that we are, continue to love unconditionally, vow to never stray, and wholeheartedly respect the partners that we are with—especially now in this ever-changing world where polyamory, divorces, and infidelity are 'normal'—stay grounded when there is so little to be accounted for?
Affairs -normal
Separation -normal
Temptation -Intensified
Nowadays, especially with the mindset of "there's better out there" or "if he leaves, I'll be fine," how do we truly commit with so many white flags around us waiting for us to grab one?
I am in no way condemning persons who have had to end relationships due to trauma, abuse, uncommon faith, etc.; I am speaking to people who desire healthy marriages (like myself), and we at times have to assess what we are up against while seeking such desires. As well as seeking the Lord beca see of our desires, we would be surprised to see what he has planned for us—marriage or singleness. So ultimately, while we pray to the Lord for revelations of our one true love, let us pray for preparation and build a life with him.
It's often times when we are so inclined towards serving the Lord that he blesses us with a spouse beyond our wildest dreams. Finding our one true love then becomes more than just that; we instead become READY for the love of our life.
Scripture References
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 KJV
4. He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6 ESV
8. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 KJV
14. but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1: 14-15 NIV
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Corinthians 11 vs 3 ESV
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18 vs 22 ESV
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