Here I am writing a blog post, post-Valentine's Day, and this may tell you a few things about me.
1. I'm single
2. I may not be the biggest fan.
3. I'm sad and lonely
Now, if you opted for either of the first two or both, you're not wrong, and if it's the third one, well let's just say life is what you make it and you haven't seen mine!
Truthfully, I don't loathe the day, but you won't see me going out of my way to dress in red and white or having a Galentine's Day either. I believe it is a day for love, and whether you celebrate it or not is fine with me. (Though, to be honest, I find it strange to be in a relationship and not even receive a rose on Valentine's Day.) And that's just my opinion. Many people (non-Christians included) don't believe in the celebration, and that's just FINE.
This post is really just a spark, a starting point for talking about love.
Now many people always ask me, "How do I survive as a young single Christian?" I'm talking about fleshly temptations; your biological clock is ticking; you're doing things that aren't considered normal; you're missing out on children; and so on. And now I won't lie and say I have not been affected by all those thoughts and may have second-guessed once or twice about why I have held out for over 6 years, maybe even more, and not entered a serious relationship. (I've had a few minor failed attempts, but I don't even date.)
Sure, there are days I say I want the ring, the kid, the man, and the cute photos—and an excuse to not go out—but my needs supersede my wants all the time. And truthfully, based on my experience and the experiences of others, there are a few things I have learned:
Not every relationship is as it seems.
Marriage is not easy, and not everyone wants or is ready for a commitment.
I don't want to go on meaningless dates every week.
I would rather wait than find myself with a serial killer or pervert. (And this is controversial because many people start off with someone named John, and 10 years later or even less, they transform into Jack, meaning a whole different person. But so far, God's guidance and my discernment have saved me from lots of messes)
I am convinced that God is hiding me (even though I am somewhat hiding myself), and I am certain that I am being protected from the wrong one until my time comes.
I am honestly okay with being single. I have debts to pay and a future to keep building. And I'm awfully preoccupied.
Now with all my revelations, you would think I have shut off my mind from love, hope, and relationships, but truthfully, no. I do not in any way plan to spend the rest of my life with my cats.
(And no offense to cat lovers or single people; I know firsthand that not everyone wants a kid and a Samuel coming home expecting dinner every night or a Debra who always wants snuggles and words of affection.) That's me being very cliché, but yes, you get the point. There are those who are concerned about singleness, despite your single years being some of your best years, and the bible (which many Christians read but still tell young people to marry the first person they meet) speaks to this.
and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:34 NIV
He had four unmarried daughters, who prophesied.
Acts 21 vs 9 ESV
Young women of Jerusalem, promise me by the power of deer and gazelles, never to
awaken love before it is ready.
Now, I'm not going to debate about when or who someone should marry, but I myself am very positive that I won't jump into anything; I will not be intimidated to marry the first minister or musician who says hi, nor am I saying I need to explore all the continents before I make a choice.
All I'm saying to myself and the other women out there is:
Get active
Stay steady
Build yourself, and yes, you can go places.
I actually recommend that you go to acceptable and clean yet sociable places to meet people of the same faith. It's better to stay single than to end up regretting that you gave Sam a chance instead of Sean, whom you really loved but were pressured by the sisters to start a family with. It's better to wait on God than to date the unsaved swag boss who became obsessed with your purity or chastity, but three years later he's spreading his swag to every girl in the community.
Truthfully, I am single by choice for many reasons, but for females who are pressured or feel time is running out, you need to realize not everyone is going to get married. Still, you can be more social; you can go on dating apps; you can give Todd a chance even though he's 5 feet 4; maybe you should start posting on social media; go to your church's general events; and pray to God to set you up.
For my sisters like myself, (contented but hopeful) get your degree, get your car, go and travel, go do ministry, and build a life outside of wondering when the ice will break or your eggs will crack. The reality is that we are meant to love, but why chase something and not be ready to receive it? You want to be wifed up? Pray that God not only prepares a husband for you that you can meet, but that he also helps to mold you into a wife a man will want to keep. Make the most of your years.
And besides, God will soon come anyways...
Are you single?
Yes
No
Scripture References
For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
Mark 12 vs 25 ESV
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37 vs 4 ESV
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for the, to remain single, as I am.
1 Corinthians 7:7-8 ESV
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6 vs 33
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